Boulder 2014

***Boulder is one of my most sentimental subjects, so following is some serious gushing and wordiness.  Get ready for some serious touchy-feely-kumbaya...

I can't remember how much (or how little) I've said about Boulder on my blog.  It is a tiny town, population two-hundred-and-something, in Southern Utah, and according to my grandpa, "When God created the world he started in Boulder."  My Grandpa owns some land down there, including an incredible mesa where I spent the happiest weeks of my summer (and therefore, some of the happiest weeks of my life!).  It is so still and so quiet, you can hear yourself think, and you can hear the whisperings of the Spirit.  And you can run and play and get dirty and sweaty, and see the constellations, and let the softest sand on earth run through your fingers, and I don't even know how to put the beauty and majesty of the whole place into words.  

I took Brynn there for a few days when she was 6 months old, and I took her and Bryce there two years after that.  Other than that, it's just been a one-day stop for my grandparents' burials, and a quick stop-off from Bryce Canyon.

When Marty and I were engaged, I gave him two stipulations.  I would only marry him if 1) We could get married in the Salt Lake Temple, and 2) He had to take me to Boulder every year.  At the time, the thought had never occurred to us that we would live outside of Utah.  So no, I haven't spent NEARLY enough time there.  Seriously, not even close.  And it's been my own choice.  Our trips up to UT each summer are such a whirlwind, it's been hard to figure it in.  Often when we work around our families' schedules, we are going back and forth between multiple houses, and we just try to do what we can do.

Well, no more.  I've tried, "just get there when we can," and that's not working for me.  I feel like when I'm not regularly drinking in nature in general, but especially Boulder, I am really missing out on a key piece of my spirituality.  That is the one complaint I have left about Arizona, all of that is harder there.  On top of which, I get achingly homesick for Boulder, which this year was compounded by the passing of my grandparents and becoming aware of how much I'll miss them, whether or not it was "their time."

Add to that, the fact that Gabe and Camille are completely unacquainted with it.  And add to that the trouble my kids had climbing rocks and being bothered by the ants...enough is enough.   (Oh.  My kids are SO not allowed to adopt the fear of "outside stuff" that I see in some kids these days.)

Dear Boulder,

I am sorry I haven't made you a huge, huge, gigantic priority.  Can you please forgive me?  Take me back!  What am I talking about, coming back it was like I never left!

Sincerely,

The Girl Who Loved to Secretly Sneak Away and Pray in the Sand

So here is Gabe, with another of his "spaceships."  He would find these flat sandstone rocks and would fly them all over the place, until he ditched it for a bigger and better one.  I looooved his little spaceships.

We shall call this picture:  Remember how the very day before we left for our 9 day vacation the washing machine broke and didn't get fixed until late that night and so I brought suitcases full of dirty laundry and got up at 3:00 in the morning to leave and threw on, basically, rags?

Oh.  I miss them.

The bear crawl; she was walking at this point, but just a little too unsteady for this rocky ground.

Now that's a Boulder face, right thar.

Deer Crick (What? I told you I was feeling sentimental...)

It's no nice to understand Gabe's personality.  I love being his mom and having a feel for his needs, all my children's needs.  I knew he'd be very slow to warm up to something like this.  So we held hands for a long time and dipped a toe here and there.  Then went a little deeper.  Then finally I let go of his hand and he was comfortable and secure.  He's my sensitive, cautious, gentle kid.  He adds a beautiful dimension to our family.  Each of our kids have their place here, and are needed, and our family would not be complete without them.

And this little thing was ready to dive in head first, just as I suspected!  She is up for absolutely anything...as long as Marty or I are within her sight!

Brynn world.  I'd love to know what was going on in her imagination while we were there, but I couldn't bring myself to interrupt the magic for her and ask.

More bear crawl.  She seriously reminds me so much of Bryce.

By the end of the UT trip, we had sent THREE pairs of flip-flops down various rivers.  Marty is always such a sport.  Not to mention a machine.  He carries around two or three kids at a time like they are feathers.

Coming out to fight for a turn on the hammock...

The view from the top of our mountain.

Can I just take a moment here?  Of course I can, it's my blog. ;)  I have been exercising very regularly for seven months now.  Almost every day, usually lifting weights, push-ups, sit-ups, and running two miles.  I know that is piddly for some people, but my mantra is usually "Running's for thieves."  Anyway, climbing up the ledge was, well, really easy.  Upon getting to the top, the extra burst of adrenaline got me running to the edges and not wanting to stop.  The only reason I had to stop was for some little 5 and 7 year old legs that don't have quite the stride I do.  Just sayin'...it felt really good. :)

At the top, we took our little snacks and Capri Suns out of our fanny-packs.  YES.  That was a serious flashback to when I was a kid!  They were even the very same fanny-packs we used to use!  My mom dug them out and it was so fun to have them.  The fact that those handy little things have gone out of style is almost as tragic as the fact that they were ever in style.

I was thinking about the parts of Boulder that have changed since I was a kid, but I thought more about the things that haven't.  And I thought more and more about how much my kids really need this place as our culture continues to change.  I can't let them wander the neighborhood like we used to do when we were kids.  There are a lot of ways in which I exercised my independence that kids can't do these days.  A small part of it is the worry about whether or not they can be safe in this world of ours.  But for me, the bigger worry is sadly, I'm afraid of "well-meaning" (ha) people taking my children's safety into their own hands, and becoming an "informant" if I were to ever leave Brynn home alone for a few minutes, or let the older two walk down to the park and play on their own.  I wish it still felt like "a whole village raising a child," but sometimes it feels more like, "every man (or parent) for himself."  Anyway, I feel like with just a bit more training, I can send them to the ledge by themselves and let them play and be kids without Mom constantly watching.  I remember in Boulder when my cousins and I would wave good-bye to the parents and grand-parents in the morning, exploring one mesa after another, hitting up the gas station or Pole's Place, and eventually making our way back to the house in the hottest part of the afternoon to recoup.  I want that for my kids so badly, and I need Boulder for that.

It has occurred to me also, what an incredibly legacy my Grandpa has left all of us.  He purchased this piece of paradise where he started his marriage, brought his first baby (my mom, the miracle baby) home to, brought his grandkids to, and now his great-grandkids.  And even though it's hard to comprehend that this day will ever come, I believe that someday I will be bringing my own grandkids here.  Absolutely incredible.

Of course we had to get the fanny pack picture after the hot and sweaty hike...

These pictures I was planning to post somewhere else, but I accidentally uploaded them here and don't want to do it again soooo....

Back in the Valley, while Marty and I went to the "temple" (we got there and it was closed, so we just went out to eat instead), my parents took the kids to the Tracy Aviary!  What did I say?  She's up for anything!  Apparently she chased this peacock all over the place.  Atta girl, Millie.

Afterword, Bryce got a date riding the train home with GandG!  See his new watch from my parents?  Absolutely his new pride and joy.  And we all knew what time it was.  Every minute.  Of every day.  And got many. MANY tutorials on how to make it light up.  Ooooh, I love the Buddy.