To all the men in my life

This is the story of a late bloomer.  I had a pretty charmed childhood.  I grew up with seriously loving parents and two older brothers (read: I was spoiled).  I was happy then, I was happy as I grew up, and I'm still happy now.  But middle school was a major bummer.  I spent an entire term eating lunch by myself in a bathroom stall because I was too embarrassed to eat at a table by myself.  I had headgear, baby fat that made me look younger than everyone else, and I couldn't figure out what to do with my wavy hair.  I know now that I'm not the only one whose self-esteem plummeted in sixth grade!  But it didn't feel like it at the time.  Enter the men in my life:

I have three uncles that I love with all my heart and have all been so good to me.  One lived across the country, but on the rare occasion we saw each other, he was always so kind to me.  He even took time out of his hectic schedule to show me the sights.  Two of them lived in Utah and I saw them often.  One of them called me Beautiful, Princess, Gorgeous, and he never stopped complimenting me, and he gave the best hugs.  The other uncle, oh that other uncle.  He teased me to no end.  If you've grown up as the youngest and the only girl, one thing is for sure:  teasing is your love language.  I'm not kidding, I loved being teased by him.   He made me laugh, he made me feel special, and in the end he made me feel cool that we could tease each other.

I had two Grandpa's, also living in Utah that I saw often.  One told me I looked like a movie star, called me Em and Emmy, and...teased me!  He stole food off my plate and ate it.  Yep, I felt completely special and loved when he did that.  The other Grandpa used to look me right in the eye, rather intensely, and say, "You're a beautiful girl.  Don't let anyone ever tell you you're not."  He kept my picture in his wallet and bragged about me to anyone and everyone.  He held my hand firmly in both of his and told me, "You're my special girl."

I had two brothers who, you guessed it, teased me.  Not awful, mean teases, but teases with a laugh and a smile at the end to say "I love you" since we've never been great at that.  To this day, it is still very much our love language.  I felt like their project.  They introduced me to classical music, Nova, classic literature, and rejecting something when it's overly-popular. They worked hard to mold me into my best self!  By the time I was a teenager, I was still putting my head on their shoulders on long car rides.  And if ever I needed attention, it just wasn't very hard to get.  I was under the impression that through those icky middle school years, they still thought I was "cool."  Looking back, I suppose they probably weren't fooled, but I felt like they were.  Once again, I felt like I was loved and special.

And then there was my Dad.  Has a dad ever loved his little girl as much as mine did?  As embarrassing as it was for my friends to hear him call me Emmy-B, BB Doll, BB girl, and Sweet Pea, I loved it when no one was around. :)  We cuddled, we talked about serious things and chewed the fat about other things.  He seemed to have unlimited time for me.  I knew he had to work long hours sometimes, but I never have any memories of him being "too busy for me," he was always just available.  He thought I was the best, the brightest, and the prettiest, even in middle school.  We went on dates regularly.  Sometimes to Old Time Fiddlers and Jamba Juice, and sometimes to fancy restaurants.  He opened all doors (including the car), pulled out my chair, helped me with my coat, and asked me about my life.  He has always treated me with total gentleness and love.

It seems like Heavenly Father placed me with a bunch of amazing men, all within one hour drive, and that I was given everything possible to overcome how I felt about myself in those few years.  Because what I felt about myself was...not good.  I'd rather not go there.  But when I really thought about it, deep down, I must still be special and loved, right?  I mean, they all showed me I was all the time.  I know this all sounds dramatic, but to a pre-teen it was.  So I went through those years able to push away doubts, knowing that because these amazing men loved me and thought I was special, it must still be true.

Thank HEAVENS middle school doesn't last forever, right?  Fast forward to college and dating.  I had a lot of fun dating.  I wasn't on a mission to be married by 21, but I was considering it.  I dated some keepers, some really, really good guys.  But my poor future husband - I was looking for all of the above mentioned qualities I found in those men, all rolled up into one!  I was looking for teasing and laughs, gentleness and manners, and love.  And even more.  I cannot believe I actually found someone who measured up!  But he did.  Here came Marty, and somehow, he is all of those men in one.  He is infinitely patient with me, and kind, and gentle, and makes me laugh, and tells me I'm beautiful, and gets my doors, and takes me on dates, and asks about my life.

And now when I see him interacting with my daughters, I know that they are very, very lucky girls.  Because if, heaven forbid, they ever go to middle school, they will be just fine.  They'll be surrounded by amazing men who will stop at nothing to teach her that she is loved.

I love you all, you know who you are!