too fast

Today Brynn had one of her best little buddies on our street over to play.  This friend is a doll and so sweet to all my kids.  This friend is also a couple years older and has considerably more freedom at home, I think.  She has taught Brynn a number of new words ("sexy" being one I can recall right now).  She is a good girl and very receptive to "we don't say that in our house," and the like.  But today I just about had a full-blown anxiety attack over something inconsequential that I just felt was a foreshadow of something bigger.  While in the loft with them, I overheard, "Hey, wanna see something really funny?"  And I looked over to see that this friend was searching for something on Youtube.  I'm sure it was nothing.  But since it hasn't always been nothing with this friend, I asked them to turn off the computer and go outside to play.  It just hit me how fast my kids are getting older and how hard it is going to be keep them unspotted from the world.  Things happen just that fast.  In less than a minute, my 6 and 4 year old can view something they aren't ready for and that might never leave their mind.  This probably makes me sound really over-protective, but I'm already thinking forward to pre-teen or teenage years where I raise them in a world that is SO unlike the one I knew growing up.  I didn't even have an e-mail account until I was a sophomore.  And I think that's about all I did with the internet.  I didn't have a cell phone until college, and that was mainly for emergencies.  Suddenly I feel like a vulnerable and unprepared mom who is beginning to lose the option of just keeping kids sheltered in our home.  I am so thankful for the personal revelation that I am entitled to as a mom.  That's what brings me peace after anxious moments like that.  I have so much to rely on.  I have a modern-day prophet who gives modern-day revelation, personal revelation, an equal partner in marriage and parent-hood, supportive friends and family with similar goals and awesome advice, and a sharp mind to research and hopefully keep me in the know about what I need to be actively doing to keep my kids on the strait and narrow.  I'm really lucky.  It's still stressful, though. :)

And I have to laugh over what I just heard.  Brynn's response to, "Do you want to play Barbies?"  was something like this:  "Sure!  But sometimes you make all the Barbies be in love with Ken and fight over him and I think that's kind of weird.  Can you not do that?"  Just the reminder I needed right now that I need to give Brynn a little more credit. :)